Irrational

Irrational fears. We all have them. Some of us fear spiders. Some heights. Others death or failure. I myself have an irrational fear of something specific. I'm not going to name it or go into it here. Only one person knows of this. We laugh about it, but that doesn't mean that it goes away. I recognize that this fear is irrational, and stupid, and VERY improbable, but it still scares the crap out of me.

I know that God is trying to teach me to rely on Him in every situation. I know that He is there with me and will help me along the way. But sometimes I wonder why He is allowing me of all people to carry this burden. Why me? I know it's the wrong question to be asking, but I still wonder from time to time. What exactly am I supposed to be doing differently? I already pray about it. I give it to God. I try to take every thought captive. However, this fear keeps creeping back into my life. Maybe one day, God will reveal to me what exactly I am supposed to be doing with this. Maybe one day He will show me what to do differently. Until then I will sit here, read His word, and pray.