Here’s the thing. I know I’m messed up. I know that things aren’t right with me. And I even know several things that I could be doing differently to help change the situation I now find myself in. However, I cannot make myself do any of them.
I know that I need to get more sleep.
I know that I need to start reading, praying and going to church.
I know that I need to take my medicine.
I know that I need to make myself do these things, but I have absolutely no desire to do any of them.
Although I am constantly uncomfortable, I am comfortable in this state (if that makes any sense at all).
I am unmotivated. There are other things I’d rather be doing. And though I cognitively know that I am making the wrong decision, I am unable to make the right one. I want to change, I really do, but something is inhibiting me from actually doing it.
So, what the hell do I do? And don’t tell me to choose one of these things and start doing it. Because I’ve already tried it and it doesn’t work (at least not long term).
seriously, once again you sound exactly the same as me.
ReplyDeleteIm having issues praying, and reading my bible, which is making it harder for me to go to church and i think as a follow on nothing else is done right.
I have an idea...or a half one anyway. I think its great that we dont know each other in person which means we can say anything to each other and the other will mostly have no idea what we mean right? (i have NO idea if this is making sense...)
anyways. I think that a few times a week we should write to each other about how we are going with prayer and reading, obviously being brutally honest. i think constant encouragement is really all it takes :)
also I shall be asking you about sleep and medication, if that is ok with you
this is only a suggestion, but i know it would help me heaps, but only if its comfortable for you and your happy with it. :) let me know!! and as usual you are in my prayers!!
If the offer still stands, I'd like that very much. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteit surely does :) may be easier to do it over facebook though??
ReplyDeleteglad you're back!