I Will Fill Them With These Words...

I love, I have loved, I will love...

Faith

I used to have such a great faith in God. I knew what I believed and why I believed it. I practiced it with joy.

Sadly, things are different now.

I believe in God, I am thankful for what he has done for me, but my faith is at an all time low. I'm bored with Christianity. I'm tired of hearing the same stories over and over with the exact same moral. It's either "repent now because Jesus is coming back tomorrow" or "tithe." I've visited several different churches lately and it's all the same. I feel like a fraud even looking at a Bible. Everything I've read about faith lately makes me feel confined. Like God wants to put me in a little box on a shelf. I know this isn't true, but that's what it feels like. I feel condemned. I am almost completely desensitized to sin. Very little offends me. I realize when an action of mine or another does not line up with God's standards, but I almost don't care. I know I should care but I can't.

I really do want to get back to where I was with God, but I have no idea where to start (especially in the Bible, I've read it all before, there isn't anything new, reading it makes me feel like I'm being taught kindergarten math all over again). I'm bored. And I feel bad that I'm bored, but that's how it is.

So how on earth do I change that? Please tell me. (and don't just say "try reading another translation of the bible, tried that, doesn't work)

I Can't Think Up A Title

There has been a lot of questioning in my life lately There has been very little sleep in my life lately There has been a bit of worry in my life lately There has been the lack of desire to do almost anything This isn't a depression or a retaliation or anything of that sort This is a state of being Not sure I like it all that well

Something

You know, I don't believe in it, but every day, the thought seems better and better.

Ponderings

Have you ever felt like you were out of place in the world? Not like you just didn't fit in with a certain crowd, or in a certain city, or even country... What I mean is, have you ever felt like you were born in the wrong time. Like you don't fit in with today's culture, at all?

Peeved

You know, truely not being able to afford it is one thing, but bitching about the cost and making the rest of us miserable is crossing the line. None of us are rich. It's all coming straight out of our pockets. We just feel that this is a once in a lifetime experience and would be an amazing inspiration for our designs, and it's a facinating part of American history. If you're going to crush our dream, please just mention that you can't afford it once and don't bring it up again. Also, if everything else is so expensive, why the heck are you on this trip?

Thank You

Thank you
Thank you for your friendship
Thank you for being there when things were rough
Thank you for giving me the strenth to stand on my own two feet again
Thank you for all the late night chats
Thank you for taking care of me when I couldn't take care of myself
Thank you for cooking with me
Thank you for the memories
Thank you for calling me a whore infront of strangers
Thank you for all your snide comments
Thank you for your negativity
Thank you for telling others what you really thought of me
Thank you for going out of your way to ignore me for two months
Thank you for using me
Thank you for not being brave enough to tell me you didn't want to be friends anymore
Thank you for showing me what I can live without
Thank you for showing me that my life is so much better without you.